???

hello dudes and dudettes.. haha that greetings remind me of something, somethign real funny.

but anyways, straight to my point. i have a question:

r u not being yourself when you're crazy about the opposite sex even for only 1 minute?

anya i'm sure u kno about this. but i'm still curious, what part of it is fake?

and i'm trying to find out, cus obviously i've experienced someone giving either a compliment or a harsh commentary bout me. but really, is it?


please help me by answering it in the tagboard, thank you.

GOSH I LOST IT

for some of my friends might know a charm bracelet that i have, a silver one with a heart. yes, it was given to me by my dad's friend's wife, who is sooooo nice to me and lives in vegas. and now, I LOST THE CHARM! OMG, i've been trying to take a good care of it! yesterday i wore the bracelet to ohlala, and when i got home, the charm was not there! but the chain still remain. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i love that charm! to be honest, i've been buying tonnes of charm bracelets because that charm made me so in love with this particular accessories. so yeah, broken-hearted.

crazzzehh.

so today was okay.. normal. not much to tell -_-

but there is. so i've been listening to COLDPLAY. been repeating all day long... i'm just crazy bout them! their new album is super!

GOTTA BUY IT! GOTTA BUY IT! GOTTA BUY IT! no question's asked.

love love love

ok so went out for a drink with my primary sch friends today, i guess nothing much has changed. we talked about hilarious, hilarious past. we had fun, and i'm beginning to love the ohlala cafe near golf. it's so nice. and today, this mba2 chat with us and offered this "dinner with afgan" tickets which cost hundreds of thous! gosh. how could he.


ok then, gtg.

little sorry

umm, i realize that i've been such a bitch to everyone, even tho, maybe, i wasn't but sometimes mu attitude annoys everyone.

soo i wanna make an apology for all of you especially my close friends, maybe i've annoyed you in any ways. and so i'm sorry. i'm not gonna mention names, because there's a lot, i'm afraid i'm gonna miss some. but i am truly sorry, i apologize for what i did. maybe u wonder why, just like andrew, nothing happened but this holiday gave me the chance to think that maybe my attitude is not always right, even to my friends. so with this post i want to spologize for every mistakes i made directly or indirectly.


sorry

bubba

:D:D:D:D:D:D

yes yes yes, i love you! ahaha.

man, am i dreaming or what? he became one of the nicest person i have ever known. can't believe there is such a figure like that. full package. although, i'm not hoping for more, i know him. having a relationship is not an important factor in my life, after all. but i'm just happy that i have another one special friend that could understand me.

and now i have a letter to write.

dear andrew,
i'm sorry i've been such a bitch. sometimes when i'm bete i dont wanna listen to you. and sorry for my lazy voices on the phone, plus blaming you for no reason or one. but i'm lucky to have a friend like you, drew. thanks for listening to me, and being my seat buddy in IT in which i'm bored at. and thanks for telling me what i did was wrong. really, really appreciate it. and now i miss you, come home! cims is incomplete without you, you know.

hope u read this. thx



gtg bye2.

scratch the soil, filza!

something happened today, which made me about to fall down in a cd store. So melas, and gondok. I guess, tough luck. i couldn't reveal the story here, cus everyone knows the internet is a free world. But it doesn't tacked with me for long, now it has given me back the wish i've wanted for quite a while.

oia, my mom bought me a book titled "Belajar Lebih Cerdas, Bukan lebih Keras" -_-'
should i cherish the moment? or burn it? lets burn the moment, but not the book. i appreciate the book, ma. thank you, i need it. but sooo lazy to read it.

today, my area had the electricity off thingy for more than two hours. thank god i had that portable little non-living angel from above. haha i love you my sweety.

i shall finish my last block of papaya. bye bye.

my days as an in-holiday high school student

it's pretty boring around here now, but yesterday, i went for Yella's birthday treat :D and was fun, we went to filicium, we got her a cake, which is not nice because it was last minute (i'm serious it doesn't taste good) and so we ate under filicium and take pictures and stuff (hey, don't call me narcissist, everybody wants to embrace a moment rite? peace .V.) and so we did. i watched kung fu panda along with other (incomplete) CIMS which is not lovely. andrew i miss ya alreaddeeeeeeh!

and so, for the past 7 hours i've been asleep, and now i'm awake. waiting for anya to sms me, and if she wouldn't, tough luck. i don't have any plans for today, probably i'll ask somebody to go to pim and have a drink with me. i would want somebody, but that's not possible, he's so out of my league. so much for love... but seriously, i need somebody. probably i'll sms sari later. she needs to spill the beans. haha, ok enuf talk abt secrets.

cheisiiiiieeeeehhh! filza misses u alreaddeeeeeehhh! gosh, we havent met for like decades. haha no, only weeks.

so i think anya is in need of some kind of attention. r u? hehe. we'll talk about it later k?

ariani! ayo cepat pulang! kangeeeeeen *smooches* *vommits* haha, kangen ar.

i love and will miss you guys............

in love?

love, such a silly game we play
like a summer's day in may
what is love? what is love?
i just want it to be love..

yes, matt white's true. love can kill boredom and boredom kills.

i will fill my world with love this summer! i have nothing to do, why not create peace?!

anyhow, love kids are one, i can babysit, which is totally not my thing. instead, i can tell them to massage me before i give them the candy, hehe.

make sense? no? ok, lets switch topic.

where are you?! i've been waiting yknow. and now time has given me the strength to be patient. so now i'm not crazy about hearing your chit-chat. but i still miss you, i cant lie.

anyways, i found myself very addicted to gums. gotta stop. help!




this is not a very good way to stop slacking. now, i hafta slack again -_- no choice.ciao

see?

see, i told u my dad will go crazy. becus he said in the states a grade of 7 is a C. so yeah, he went mad.

he said there's gonna be a cutoff from the first day of school and on. oh well, i guess my life will be more serious.



pray for me.

numbers

hey fellas

i saw my report card yesterday, and even until this moment, i still cannot catch my breath..

i fail the freakin pkn exam! ms. ratri gave me a big 4.0 on the report. ugh my dad will go crazy. but i pass with a good score (well, enough at least) a 7.75 if calculated with a normal GPA it will be 3.1/4

my mum hasn't shown the report yet. clock's ticking mum!


ohya, finally i got what i want, one point crossed on my wishlist! yess, thx daddy!

HOME SWEET HOME

I'M HOME! FINALLY, YESS!

after all the superior heat in the hot medan, finally i can smell the jakarta-vibe. but enuf about that, straight to the point.

i was reading anya's last post and read the line about obama. speaking of obama, on saturday nite, i was watching metro tv on the show Biography : Barack Obama. i watched only the second half of the show, but.. at the very end, or the closing, barack obama said: "I represent every race, as an africa(or kenya he said i forgot, smth abt africa deh) child, as an indonesia child, and as a chicago child" having him said that makes me really happy. from what i heard, when obama was here, he didn't blend with the environment at first, but then he did. even though he only spent four years, and having his mother re-married with a local guy (i mean, that's sad for a child), but he declared that indonesia is a part of his life by saying that. he is a born-leader.


ah, i lost one of my cds. gtg find it, ciao.

very very ... HOT. (literally)

hey folks, i'm currently spending my holidays by pulang kampung ke medan. i have to see my family and stuff here. and so far... 3 days felt like a month! there's no place like home.. i agree. even though i have a teeny tiny home without a pool or a wide backyard (haha yes, its true), i never knew how it feels to move out. cus i've been living in that house forever. but anyways, i spent my hours here reading dan brown. and fortunately (yes, i am) found my self-interest in books, which is mystery. it was sooo cool. brown is a genius. he can find out a very contradicting side of an object. saaay... a one dollar bill. since the book is pertaining to the Illuminati- ancient secret brotherhood which was "assumed" to be dead a long time ago-a one dollar bill contains the elements of illuminati. if u look at it closely, a pyramid with an eye is one of the symbols of illuminati. it mentions the phrase "New Singular Order" in which Singular means Non-religious. however, if you turn the other side of the bill, it says "In God We Trust". crazy rite?

but anyhow, dan brown still doesnt bore his readers through those historical facts or whatever, but he glue things together with the presence of pure science. i'm not gonna spill what's inside, but once you read it you will find it enormously impossible, but true. and how science and religon are actually very contradicting, but at the same time, walk together through the test of time.

back to medan. i know boredom kills me around here. but hey, brilliant men frequently says, look on the bright side! well yes, medan has a bright side : THA FOOOOOOD! oh-my-gravy no one tops the food world like medan does. last night i ate THE BEST RIASTED CORN I'VE EVER TASTED. it was sooooo niceeee. and i cannot wait for another food-tasting. HAHA thanks.


i'll post probably in the next 60 minutes. haha, ciao

beautiful!

this morning, i slept for 10 hours. wow, a record. last night we had a farewell dinner in a hotel around kuningan, and it was BEYOND fun. we laugh we gossip and obviously, flashes everywhere (meaning, picture taking) haha, girls. everybody was dressing up nicely INCLUDING mrs. boss, ferina who looked divine, your welcome. she wore a dress w/ high heels, and looked stunning. sari i were fashionably late with all the make up and stuff, i mean hello, i cant go to a party without wearing make up, it's a need. everybody was gorgeous.





oh, here are some pictures.

CIMS GIRLS w/out michi

andrew & nab

look at boss! she looks gorgeous

cousins, with their mournful actions haha candaa.

me nab and sari

more pictures. i shall put it on my photobucket or facebook album later. enjoy!

if i did...

sorry guys, if i am or was wasting your time, or even will waste your time by writing 2 posts a day. it's just that i wanna type as much as i can while i'm still capable of doing it. wow, it sounds so emotional, and yet i didnt mean to make it sounds emotional.

i can hear my mom forcing me to go hair treatment now, she wants to go into a boutique near the salon. yes, mom. i'm changing now (not).

i'm sooo lazy, sorry guys (literally) but i really have to share this. i'm in my period and the monthly period affects my metabolism. which makes my body so lemes. like a noodle.

ugh, my mom's calling again. gtg make her happy. byee

ganjal

ada sesuatu yang terus terisolasi di pikiran saya yang sedang senang, dan tentu saja membuat perasaan saya membuat celah pikiran buruk terhadap sesuatu. intinya, saya nggak bisa tenang.

tadi malam ada kejadian, saya memang sedang ada perasaan dengan seseorang, not exactly as a crush, but more as a crazy feelings for a friend. lambat laun, saya sudah bisa kontrol terhadap fakta yang berbicara bahwa saya belum bisa bicara dengan dia untuk beberapa saat. namun tadi malam, dalam sudut pandang saya, dia memang sibuk, tapi yang membuat saya skeptis, adalah fakta bahwa dia juga ragu-ragu bicara. saya santai, tapi pada akhir pembicaraan, ia pamit, dengan cara berbeda. ia ingin pamit karena terlalu capek, tapi minta approval dari saya dulu.

jadinya, saya ngga enak. apa selama ini saya yang jadi obstacle di kehidupan dia? teman sayapun ambil alih bicara pada saya, katanya, mungkin dia tau saya kepengen ngobrol sama dia. namun mendengar hal itu, perasaan saya jadi beralih malu.



and now i have no idea what to do. thank you.

recap

my 12th birthday party with some classmates. past.

batch of grade 10 07-08. present.

what a quick transition life made.


i cannot believe it has been 5 years since i ate my 12th birthday cake along with my childhood friends.


i will not forget the memories of my second picture, as much as i have not forget a single memory of the first one.





love, filza.

stuck 3x

i have a song, stuck in my head for days! i just couldn't get rid of this.

Even though i'm no spiderman, or superman
i'll be the one who guards you
night and day and trust me
i dont need no spiderweb, or laser eyes
cause you're giving me the strength to say
share you life, and be my wife.

well in my case, husband. haha, just kidding. it's so beautiful, even more with the melody. ugh, it hits me deep.

heyy ya'll, today's the first day of holidaaaaaays! i just had my recognition day yesterday, and so far, i have not receive any pictures, but maybe yes later. btw, i won 3 amazing awards. although it weren't math or science, or business, or anything that would make my parents even prouder, but they are proud of those i've gotten . and those are the things i was focusing on. well at least 2 of them, because in my perspective, for service, it is about the calling. and i feel that doing community service is my calling which happens to have nominations but in any case, i would still do it for the sake of life. not sports(which i suck at), not innovations, nor arts. helping people. but i was happy that i got drama studies awards, which has been my dream ever since i casted at my first theatrical production. as for english, it was my goal. well, it was not literature, but not that i care, haha. sorry folks.

yea, and it was sad, i have to be honest. but the point is, there's more to school than just books and teachers, sometimes there are other people too. and even though they dont have anything, they're still good teachers for giving me the lessons of life.

last but not least i wanna congratulate mr.peter for giving such an inspiring & creative speech.




are you smarter than a 10th grader?

yes, filza. you and exams are sooo over. YES!

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAAALLLYYYYYYY!

I LOVE THE LAST DAY OF EXAMS, IT MAKES ME FEEL INDEPENDENT.

haha, and yes, there are some surprises when i got home. and made me much much much happier!

my left parts of the body are certainly.. in pain. haha, pegel.

tomorrow is a brand new day, and i'm going to the ocncert tomorrow night. sooo, gtg enjoy the enchanting equanimity of relaxation, awesome.


alr, see u then, goodbye. and happy holidays!

masih jam 7.15

now i'm patiently waiting for anyone i talk to to be online. please! anyone, i believe that gb's not gonna be online in the morning (sabar ya anya), that bird is not coming around (well he might, its just that i'm not that excited), i'm sure anya's still asleep, sarie doesn't like being on in the morning, ivana's learning math, zack is on vacation, si kingkong nih lagi siap-siap, he may or may not, so just wait, who else? umm, sutan's not on facebook, he hasn't been online for a while. and now i can see how often come online, haha. it's just that i'm soooo bored! and tomorrow i have math, which creates more trouble because i have to frikkin study.

my do-list for the day :
-buy drama things
-study math, seriously!
-thinking about people

yea the last one, because last night something happened that made sarrie and i were like "yea.. yea.. say what you wanna say" well, sarrie was not that tired, i do. it was very tiring listening to this person last night. agak kesel sih, because things are going rude, although it was meant to be funny. but i cant say what exactly happened.

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY http://filzouch.blogspot.com/ !

I can't believe i passed one year writing posts in my blog. all the hates, the laughs, the tears i shared with this blog will hopefully stays forever. i wanna thank my fellow senior blogger, especially nandra & anya, who had influenced me to make one. i like to go thru the archives and see how i've changed A LOT . this blog has been a witness of my growth, for the past year, and will always be.

and i hope i will continue, and please remind me if i forget




love and regards, filza.

hectic in one way. the rest.. "finally i can catch my breath"

i finished the exam week! well, almost.

i still have 2 more to go, one for drama one for MATH, yes the excruciating mathematics.

but my concern is for drama, i still don't get brechtian. Its goal is to make the audience aware of the things in front of them and get the message the play is trying to set up and yet, it is somewhat absurdist. mr.c said the physical appearance must exaggerate. and we havent even start making the set! and the costumes need to be custom. not custom made, just.. different. and symbolic.

i'm so gonna fail drama. but at least my quiz helps :D

i went out or should i say.. escaped with my friends, ate somewhere and went to filicium. yes, we have our own filicium. and it is a big ol' tree. we spent our lazy afternoons under filicium talking about bizzare people in our "environment" and sometimes it can lead to serious laughter, haha. so we went there just a few hours ago, we spent hours talking about things. and in the middle of the conversation, someone did this thing (actually it's an ongoing thing, so it's not a one-time thing) that made us laugh.. badly. and i said "this is what i'm gonna miss the most and why i'm gonna miss all this" which stuck on my mind the whoooooole time now. i cant believe it's ending. ending like an end of a happy ending movie, when people enjoy the movie so much. and couldn't continue the story so we keep on wanting to re-watch. but in my case, we cannot repeat the whole thing, time passes by.


i'll write again tomorrow. peace.

essays

look, here's the thing.

i was not as crazy as i was yesterday, it's just that a lot has happened in the past 4 hours. from excited.. to heart-broken.. to okay.. to being so generous (well at least i think i'm being generous) well u judge me. but it turns out that only a person (or two) can judge if i was being generous. well lest just forget about that.

my point is, it's crazy to see how my feelings about is jumping. meaning, say, now i love you, the next hour i hate you, and the next hour i'm helping you to pass your exams and yet i still hate you while falling in love with you. pretty crazy, huh?

now i have no one to talk to on msn, so i'll just talk to you, my dear friend.

how's you day, mate?

oh, how lovely.. mine was utterly singular. i felt of a certain mixture of feelings.

oh really? how unfortunate..





gosh, am i really acting stupid? i better go, ciao

i'm shaaaaaking

well, someone's NOT REPLYING. me on msn. kesel ah.

at the same time, i'm thinking. maybe that certain someone could be here, somewhere around jakarta. if i know, i'll be DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN HAPPY. but still, i'm too shy -.-

at this point of time, i need cims' filicium.


ah i have a desire to do something, it's just that i'm too negative thinking! gosh i cant do it. gtg, i have some body parts to get to know. biology, ciao.

THANK YOU

oh my gosh, after all those birthday night depression, I was so happy yesterday!

THANK YOU 10B FOR THAT AWESOME BIRTHDAY CAKE!

i have nooo idea. the first time the cake enters i sang along the happy birthday song, cus i thought it's for somebody. and i was like confused when everybody's looking at me along with the cake. it was so weird, and yet sooo beautiful. i wasn't expecting any of it, but i'm sooo happy.

candle-blowing, there's a candle but invisibled by the whiteness of my sweater :D

jon looks like he's cherishing the moment, but he was there mostly for the cake haha



they didn't get the shocked moment picture, however. but these means a lot to me, thx guys.

apart from the birthday cake, there's also some heart-breaking moment. our last math class w/ ms. angay!



my math group BOTENG!

Soulja Kids

All da bebi

Scooby-doo

Snow white

as well as my awesome teacher ms.bernadette!!

crowded group hug haha.

last-but-not-least, the WHITIES cims

i laughed bad because of jon, well i asked him to do it, but it only affects me. it supposed to be everybody, if you know what i mean.

CIIIIMS THIS IS OUR LAST FREE-DRESS PICTURE IN Y10!

overall this year has been amazing! i'll post more class pictures later. ciao

#2

i was inspired by anya's latest post, as i've always wanted to discuss this. about the XOXO thing.

no offense, but i don't really like the idea of people mentioning xoxo everywhere after gossip girl came out and became a huge hit. so does "XOXO". i have no problem with everybody saying XOXO at the first place, however, in my opinion it is a low-level imitation. XOXO has been a slang for decades. And in my point of view, i think people are too fascinated by that line, even sometimes i was disgust by how people say it in a perky way similar to the tone they have a gossip girl. i mean COME ON! XOXO isn't the only you so-called "fabulous" line they have on this planet. There are loads of words you can use. I'm not saying that it's wrong, but i am saying that for those who applied XOXO as a fashion-socialism-word-sensation or however you put the words. please, think twice. i do use those hugs and kisses interpretation, however not that way. say, "hugs are cheap.. XXXX, filza" or maybe experiment with XOXO, like what cheisy did.

and as far as i'm concerned, gossip girl has affected the young girls to try to reach a step further in a world so far from their capabilities and thoughts. This young girls are suppose to know the basis of the adult world, but not too extreme. In my opinion, gossip girl is too extreme. yes, that TV series has the elements of teen spirits, well any kind we have these days. But dont get me wrong, i do watch gossip girl, even crazy about them. As a 10th grader, i can see that most of the students here watch gossip girl, but we were not attached to the stories, nor trying to apply the stories to real life with the exceptions of a few. However, young teens as i observe, are mostly attached, and i'm sorry to say that it is an act of immaturity. They might be immature, but by being mentally attached to the story, that could affect the learning capability and possibility of the basis in maturity.



sorry if offended. thx for reading.

i was supposed to be happy by the end of the day, because after all it is my 16th birthday. but i do have a certain fear inside. and i am not very happy about 15 minutes ago. i cant type it, at least not with tears.

but anyways, thanks guys for the presents, teh cards, and the birthday wishes. i just son't wanna get older and older until i turn into a sick, grey-haired, hunch-baked grandma. life is not bad for me, it's just that, i have a fear of the word "more".

CIMS

haha baru nyadar dr postnya andrew juga dicerna oleh naida, cims tuh punya ya filicium. tempat dimana kita observe kata2 "halo.. halo.. oi.. oi" haha, asli kocaknyaaa.

apalagi ngegosip, yaoloh.

pohon beneran loh. haha btw, andrew sabar ya, makanya ati2 kalo ngobrolin, haha orgnya liat kan tuh skrg? hahahahah.

tank

this tank is so comfy i dont wanna take it off! hey i'm watching aaaaaaaamerican idol! i was surprised to see david archuleta singing Dont Let The Sun Goes Down on Me which is my personal favorite. It was in the american idol history, as a true viewer / fan of american idol, (haha, filzaa), i remember Clay Aiken of Season 2, singing this song with so much victory of winning. If you watched season 2, you might know how Clay Aiken sings, i mean his style of singing. His face resonates the true meaning of optimism, that gives a sense of victory of winning. He might be in the second place, but his album made it to the top, even leaving Ruben Studdard (or however you spell his last name) behind.
Ok, enuf talk about Clay Aiken, i was his fan. I literally begged my dad to buy my his cd (which wasn't out yet at that time in jak), in singapore. My senior, who was also my bro's friend at that time (btw, this was 6th grade) and i were screaming and talking talking in the cafetaria alone, haha. Because of Clay of course. But it was so funny, she hugged me badly when i gave a her a poster of Clay Aiken, haha. So there i was, humiliated by mr. clay aiken.
i grew up listening to queen and a little bit of michael learns to rock, sicne my dad always turn it on. I listened to Air Supply, but i dont really like it tho. as i grew up, pop music became HUGE. And so i started listening to backstreet boys, a little bit of westlife, Spice girls etc. And as my brother grows older, i began listening to his kind of music. But i found out that my true love was in pop music. So i started listening to them again. But one thing, i never enjoy j-pop, k-pop, chinese pop or whatever, no. I like filipino artist lately, they have good music, it's just that i couldnt understand a word, haha. Now, i figured that my true love is in blues, swingjazz music. I dont enjoy some modern jazz (those jazz that's in rite now), and i cant figure out why. It started when my dad bought this jazz Robbie Williams album, Swing like you mean it, probably around 2003, i guess. And i began to love those catchy tunes. Now, i'm listening to Tony bennet, Jane Monheit, Michael Buble (his jazz song covers), Frank Sinatra, and jazz Robbie Williams of course. Apart from that, i like soul artists. Amy winehouse, Stevie Wonder, and George Benson, also that new artist Duffy, i like her too. Elton John is a great one too. Haha, sometimes i dont like to search on some new artist, coz it's better not to forget the old, than trying to dig the new ones, because i mean they will rise sooner or later. But dont get me wrong, i do like the new ones too, i love them, but the ones who made it to the charts now. I like both, and a little bit of everything.


thank you for reading my boring, wasteful, land of life blog-post.

National Awakening

Pengetahuan saya akan Kebangkitan Nasional amat sempit, dan saya tidak bisa bohong. Karena dimata saya, sebuah rangkaian kata-kata belumlah kuat jika belum ada pengetahuan-pengetahuan yang bersangkutan untuk menguatkan rangkaian tersebut. Sebagai sesorang yang ingin mempunyai sifat nasionalisme yang kuat(ya, ingin karena saya masih ragu akan ke-nasionalisme-an saya), kata bangkit pada nilai nilai sejarah bangsa indonesia, menurut saya tertera pada awal 1900-an, dimana jiwa nasionalisme bangkit pada diri masing-masing jiwa rakyat indonesia. Kehadiran organisasi Budi Utomo adalah sesuatu yang sakral pada frase "Kebangkitan Nasional", dikarenakan pembangkitan luas kesadaran nasionalisme rakyat indonesia. Organisasi Budi Utomo merupakan komunitas pemuda, yang berpikiran kedepan untuk memajukan bangsa ini, dan menerapkan keadilan. Walaupun halangan kerap kali datang, namun dengan tersebar luasnya kesadaran nasionalisme tersebut, nama Indonesia mulai bangkit.

Mungkin nanti saya akan gali lagi info-info lain tentang topik ini, tapi maaf bila tidak. Sekian, filza.

bum bum bum bum cuap

this morning, i woke up at 7. and i have an empty stomach. i don't know what i want to have for breakfast!

my mom's away my dad's away, they both went for a jog. i'm alone, waiting for the car to go back at 11 so then i can go to school and do the drama practice thingy. and i really have to revise the script, well at least help a little. cus i'm so tired of doing it all over again.

i had a really good nite sleep last night. that's because i slept at 10 something, and woke up at 7. haha, it looks like a cheesy-fairy tale. when you open your window, and inhale the fresh air with the flowers and the birds singing to you. ok, back to the real life, people!

in front of me, this small bended calender from bread papa. with images of the cram puffs SOO GOOD, AND DEEEELICIOUS! haha. but honestly, yes, i do have a desire for beard papa's cream puffs, although i have to admit, they are a little expensive. its funny, when i went to L.A, to the creepy montrey park, i saw this beard papa store, but it was closed. but i think they have a better taste there, in LA. but do not got to montrey park, it's creepy, well not in a mystic way, but in a never-find-that-atmosphere-across-America way. speaking of america, i wanted to go there but since my brother's coming in December because of his stupid working stuff whatever, so i cant go there. unless if i want to go to some other places, it's fine. I'll probably go somewhere by august, when the ticket price is quite low, haha. and u promised me something daddy!

i wanna go to Singapore tho, not for shopping. for hanging out with my friends. haha. when you're alone, only with your friends, you can really feel the freedom man. but this summer i have to go to the boring Medan. at least i can make my grandma happy :) but i'll probably waste most of my time wandering around sun plaza anyways, or the warnet. since no one practically use Internet in my house. but it's so hot there, and it's so awkward to bring over sized sunglasses when you're in Medan. they'll probably think : "hey it's not Bali, it's Medan, get used to it"



i'm getting hungrier, help! i need to buy something, ciao!

NOVEMBER 22 2007!

if you know that date, it's too sacred. well, not sacred, but it is memorable. it was the birth of RETARDOOOOOOOS! my pals, and me doing crazy thing, omg. we are very much in our retardness of one another. i cannot forget that date. and i hope you remember, girls.

and cims! too bad i wasnt there when it was built. i was busy with narnia, with my stardom. alaah, haha. i'm joking. but i was glad that we made it this far. haha btw, it's so funny how we cover things so quickly. we are true actors, cims. haha



love, filza. (or zong, or whatever you wanna call me)

last session!

hey man, today was my last period with mr.lloyd! my awesome bio teacher. we ended up doing revision for the test instead of taking pictures. well, its is important, i admit. it's just that you're so cool, mr. lloyd. but anyways, you're still on youtube! haha. sorry if we talk too much, or cheat too much haha. sorry of i talk so loud mr.lloyd. and one more thing, please give me awesome marks on the exams, just like what you did last time, haha 10B LOVES YOU!


p.s. : he's not moving out, it was 10B's last period with him. since next week's exam. i'll see you in gr11 mr. loyd!


tomorrow's holiday but i'll still go to schooooool!!

shit happens

Gosh! man, in any minute i'll vommit. It's soooo sad i dont wanna leave grade 10! 10B was so much fun, i did not regret a single minute with my classmates. we have 432 hours left, and yes, i'm counting. i remember the birthdays we had, it was sooo much fun! although maybe within we had some conflicts or stuff, but it is part of the memories.

cims, it's so sad to leave. i hope it still remains in the future. we are effin' awesome! all the crazy ideas, all the love and MCs. all the secrets that we kept all these times, we rule guys! haha, it's so crazy. my big dude, andrew, do not ever stop rappin'. i love you and we are gonna be MTV stars in 10 years, baby! Jon, lo tetep ganteng ya, jangan ngerusakin muka lo. haha. canda deng, belajar yg bener ya Jon, jgn ngeliatin yg ga penting mulu haha. reuben, lo tetep kocak kok ben, tapi dendam foto masih ada loh ben, haha. rayner, keep cookin'! 10 taun lagi gue nanti gue k restoran lo. chris, belajar yg bener! haha MY ARDOS! yella, "gimana ya, susah sih jd org hot" haha. we rule the streets, and the search for caucasians for you, my dear. haha. michiiiiiiiiiiiii! keep tuning in for RnB, girl. haha, u've inspired yella, big time. and last but not least, NAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! we had a blast this past year! starting from photos of math class, all the way to math class seriousness. i love you , my dear. and i can assure you that we will not be losing contact.


others : SONIAAA ! we'll audition for more prod promise? david, keep the hotness, man. haha. ADRIAAAAAAN! minta maaf ya sm jon, kasian. tp keep singing man, haha. lo jd penulis gue ok?. fidel-marcia-riski i love you guys. lenny-caro-alvina makasi buat bantuan belajarnya haha. ARIANIIIIIIIIII belajar ya! trus tetp sabar. FERIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i'm speechless, i love you! kevin-jason, kalo ada salah maafin ya. ga ada yg lupa lagi kan? I LOVE YOU GUYS.

I LOVE 10B btw, thx for the 8 awards, guys! haha but being the messiest isn't so pretty.

gosh i'm in deep pain.






it onsets hardly. people. things. feelings. me? i'm not sure.

school 3.23

hi, i'm gonna go home any minute now, i'm gonna stay, and do my work. i have business presentation which i have not start until now, IT submission, 3 pages to go! 3 pages, of bizzare writings. and i still have service essay due tomorrow, gosh. that's why people, do not pospone tasks!

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. RATRI.

gtg, i have to host. ciao

chocorollers

hey blog, long time no connect with me ya? ooo, easy laah.

nonsense comes out form me easily. so.. yeah. i just finished my drama script that i revised and became 12 pages of dialogs and singing! but i'm happy. but still i have to ask mr.c's commentaries tomorrow. because today, he asked a lot and i didn't seem to give the right answers. and i kinda regret not googling.

i had a pretty nice day at school, it's just the my school song was revised and the word BINA NUSANTARA was changed to BINUS SCHOOL SIMPRUG. it sounds maksa yet, it makes the song our very own school song.

i'm gonna have a long day tomorrow. i gtg to sleep, ciao.

p.s : i'm gonna start writing labels from now on. haha.

huh?

i felt so emo today. and i just dont want to write. the thing is, it's so weird.




bcs i'm pretty emo at this moment.

did i ever tell you?

did i ever tell you how i hate plagiarism so much? that is only for do-badders. i'm sorry to say, but this world is full of copycats that wouldn't care so much. well this is what i can say :

MIND YOUR OWN CREATION, SUCK-UPS.

hey, no-brainers. please use your own brain. remember the wizard of oz? yea, scarecrow fought for a brain,note that. what did u do with yours? nothing, rite.?i noticed. you're a loser-user. and please think about it with you own brain.

me and my country

hey fellas.

this morning, i sang the national anthem along with the school. and i figured that at that moment, when i sang the national anthem, i felt such an emotional movement in my mind that shows a certain pride of this nation.

saat saya menyanyikan indonesia raya, perasaan saya berbeda dengan menyanyikan lagu yang sangat memancarkan kehidupan saya selama ini sekalipun. pride sebagai orang berkependudukan dan asli indonesia, membuat saya berpikir bahwa jiwa yang saya miliki berasal sudah melekat dengan bangsa ini dan memang jiwa orang indonesia. hati saya bergerak saat saya melihat kepala sekolah saya, Mr. Peter mencoba melantunkan lagu Indonesia Raya walaupun saya paham benar bahwa beliau belum fasih berbahasa indonesia, dan mungkin belum hafal benar nada-nada di lagu tersebut. dengan tegasnya, beliau menyuruh kami mengulang Indonesia Raya lantaran banyak yang masih lenggak-lenggok alias tidak serius. jujur, saya agak terharu. walaupun selama ini saya tidak selalu menghormati beliau, akan tetapi saya salut dengan beliau.

kembali ke indonesia raya. saya masih melihat banyak dari teman-teman saya, masih menganggap menyanyikan indonesia raya di sekolah seperti binus itu adalah sebuah lelucon untuk dipertanyakan dan ditertawakan. komando guru membuat mereka bernyanyi secara skeptis, dan tidak enak dilihat. saat itu dipikiran saya adalah, pertama, sekolah ini adalah bagian dari indonesia. hampir atau lebih dari 90% penghuni sekolah kami adalah orang indonesia. pembangun dan pembina sekolah kami adalah orang indonesia. memang pembelajaran kami berbasis bahasa asing. namun kami masih menunjukkan effort untuk melahirkan anak-anak indonesia yang berpikiran global, berperilaku lokal (think globally, act locally) contohnya dalam pelajaran Sastra Indonesia yang merupakan salah satu pelajaran tersulit untuk murid-murid skolah kami. jadi tanpa diragukan lagi, sekolah ini adalah bagian dari indonesia yang memang mendunia. kedua, kalau memang anda masih keberatan dalam menyanyikan lagu kebangsaan, sebaiknya anda diam. sorry to say, tapi dalam sudut pandang saya, anda belum bisa mendapatkan paspor indonesia. passport, particularly. karena begini, menurut saya, pergi keluar negeri, bukan hanya sekedar mencari pengalaman semata. tapi juga membawa nama baik indonesia. bila anda belum menyadari apa yang kita punya sekarang sebegitu indahnya, saat anda melihat yang lebih indah diluar sana, anda akan berpaling.

sekian penjelasan saya. maaf bila anda tersinggung :)

new!

i was just thinking about something. ok so, instead of looking for hot guys, i'll look for some hot flings! which means, that i would search for celebrities my age, guy and a girl, who are friends or dating, and look cute when they're together, its fuuuun!

these are today's choice :

1.

this might seem childish, but taylor's 16 and alyson's 15. its just a slight technical problem :)

2. Emma roberts and Ryan sheckler. they're just sooo cute.



















3. Annasophia robb and Josh hutcherson. they playes in b of terabithia, and looks so cute together ever since. but we have a problem : josh's taken :( (and you dont even wanna take a look of his girlfriend)

arent they just cute together? ugh, i wish i was those girls. but i'm happy being filza :) pick your favorite, and tag!

what a great sensibility

oohhmygosh. i woke up late again, its now 7.30, and i was supposed to wake up earlier to get the nasi uduk that i love too much. mmm... from yesterday, i've just realized something :

I ♥ CINNAMON ROLES

a liiiittle weird, but oh well. my appetite doesn't give a damn, sorry. gtg, computer off by 9. see ya!

my feet!

asli kaki saya pegel banget. i went to the concert, and i just got home. it was okay, derick was hot, and his sunglasses are even hotter. omg i'm in love with his elvis sunglasses (that's not even elvish-ish, he wore it only for the elvis portion) because at first he was throwing his guitar picks, and later on his elvis hankie and i was like : gimme the sunglasses! haha, but no he didnt.

me and anya talked a lot about our friends' weird relationships this afternoon, and i just notice that : hell yea, they are weird. well i'm not saying that its a good thing, nor bad. but still, the ew-ness attacked me harshly. even now


i just cannot wait until the exam week finishes. gtg bye

much

there's so many things that happened during school. and i'm not gonna mention about the futsal match we had, its just too complicated. i had a walk with ms.vivi after school, to dacument the CAS students. i was teaching before narnia starts, so i left, and now since the drama club was moved to mondays, i have the chance to start again. ms.vivi said she wants to have this project with me. raise awareness with new phrase with new brainstorming, with new ideas. however, i talked about not making movies anymore. i wanna do it for service, and i guess i just have to fight for it.
we walked to the back of the school, and i chatted with the ibu in charge, and she still remembers me! and she said it has been really good, i mean when i first came in, it was a mess. and it was great now! after a while, we went to SDN grogol. i've been wanting to go there ever sicne i join CAS, its just not my portion. so now i get to see it, it was really nice! the building is really good, and so i asked ms.vivi abt it. she said it was not that good when binus first came in SDN grogol. its anew buliding, and i saw happy faces within the community.

recapitulating

just now, i was reading my old posts. i found something funny, corny, stupid, etc. i remember how active i was last year, with all the choir games, community service, etc etc. and i found this post, where i planned my 17th birthday party with my dearest friend, anya, and we were so excited so we planned these crazy things. we mentioned about getting those myspace stars. at the time we were just discovering joe brooks and gabe bondoc. i remember how crazy we were about them, like how girls are crazy about beatles in the old days, i mean, you can just see the hysteria rite? and we would love to invite our dearest e-brother, to come. we talked about how Romania and Singapore not to mention Thailand, really means to us back then. Our crushes, our long-lasting history and mistery, the chatrooms, the guy-books consultations, the esplanade, the i-have-bad-experiences-with-gangsta stories, the asian retards, the bridtongchais, teh batisahs, the as-an-asian complaints, the heartthrob hunting, and the JACKPOT DAY! it only happens ocne in a lifetime :) there's so much to share with so little space to tell. i really really miss those times. and how we figured that 214 really means something to you, nya.

to nandra, i miss JIFFEST too much, darl!
(in the theatre)
Filza : oh my god.. she's pregnant..
Nandra : what did she say? what did she say?
Filza : she's pregnant with his baby
Nandra : WHAT? Sick bastard!!
Filza : Nandraaa! shh.

and i miss bule hunting in bali too! remember the basketball-sounded guy? i still remember his face. ahaha. and shopping in ubud, uhuhu.

kalo sariii, belom lama sih kejadian2 pentingnya, ah payah nih. haha. yang pasti, i'm so glad 'sara' is practically demolished out of the story.

naida, michi, yella. i'm speechless, but all i can say is : bananas! ily girls. not to mention, cims. i'm so gonna miss you guys in gr11

ahaha i'm talking as if i'm gonna go abroad any minute now. but i was just remembering :)



its 1. am, school at 6, bye.

sleepies

i ended up doing nothing about bahasa. i just cant concentrate! how stupid -.-

p.s for a couple : marriage? are you cray-zee? we're not even graduated yet. why do u have to commit so much? i dont get you guys. weirdos ew, sorry to say.

second post for the day :D

i actually wanted to discuss something in this post, that might be a long one, but i have so little time, i really have to finish my bahasa task. but one thing i wanna share with you guys is that some of you might know that i used to be in the production of the wiz abt 2 years ago, and in the wiz musical, there's a song called Home. And it is such an amzing song, everytime i sing the song i got goosebumps. and i am not kidding this time. the song was so pure, and i think it meant so much to me i cant even declare it verbally. i dont know why, because the song doesnt really have a realted subject with my life or my stories, however, i felt a certain kind of spiritual connection between me and the song and as the result : goosebumps. it might sound crazy or weird, but it is a fact that i cant deny.

peace out. ciao

ellen

the ellen show is getting even more cornier. pagiii btw.

i dont know where my family and i are going today. but i think i need to finish my works first before going out with them. or we'll probably go by tonight. i wanna have lunch actually, with somebody, but people are having plans alr, oh well.

now i can hear my dad asking where to go, and i'm sooo lazy to answer. let him choose la. gtg, i need to finish my chemist hw.

300? enough.

weyyowwwwssup? ah men how alay was that.

so i'm sweating rite now, because of the 40-minute-exercise. i was actually told to have a 15-minute one. however, because of my brand of heroine, which is american idol (alah filza sok di dramatisir my brand of heroine) i got to finish 40 minutes without wining or sighs!i burned 300 calories, which was approximately 10% of the meal calories i gained today. ohwell, i gained the healthy-ness? how bout that.

hmm.. what about today ya? today was.. okay. i felt better about drama. now i get it, after a long and winding journey of understanding. haha, i like that phrase. but, i'm not done with it. for some reasons, i might be wrong on how i get the topic, sooo we'll talk abt out later.

tomorrow was supposed to be my day off, and i planned to go to my friends house, ar should i say.. crib, andrew. haha. anyways, and yea, once again, my mom cut the lines and said. but its your dad's day off too, so you might as well spend some time with him, or maybe eat somewhere. well okayy mom. sorry guys, i couldnt come with you.

people are planning to go overseas for the holidays, and guess where i'm going : JOGJAAA! but its just a plan, nothing much to say. i was pleading for taiwan, but my dad laughed. i dont know why, people are like, i wanna go to the states, i wanna go to europe. well i'm not saying its wrong, cus i do have desires to go to those places in june, but i cant, and there's too much reasons for that. but! i'm bored with those options, dude, come on. does anyone ever thought of south america? china? vietnam? without having your parents asking you to or comes from your opinion? i personally love africa, but i know my dad wont let me before i turn 17, i guess. criminality in africa is hell. why not your country? lets sayy, solo. its a nice place, i've never been there or anything, but its really cool from what i heard. and my wishlist of countries to visit this year are :

1. China (taiwan and beijing)
2. Vietnam along with Thailand
3. South America
4. Spain (!) and only spain, not the whole europe (i like the spanish vibe, its soo cool!)
5. Egypt
6. New Zealand (its common, i know. but its just simply nice :)

although its "this year" however i dont like to go to those places in summer. its HOT. besides, i've always love winter vacation, without any exceptions even for NZ. It's really cold in the winter (since the winter is in june), am i rite? well, from what i heard, yes. Spain in the winter is : GORGEOUS! besides, its not too cold and not too hot either (d'uh its winter) and i dont think one of them would happen anyways so, lets just keep dreaming on.

and some cities around indonesia :

1. Jogja and Solo
2. Lombok (not necessarily tho, i wanna get out of beach paradise, its a little boring for me)
3. Irian/Papua (it might sound crazy, but i looooove their art)
4. Aceh (d'uh. i'm acehnese and i've never been there? kinda stupid rite?)

i know aceh is insanely hot, but i think i can take it (for a few days!) and i love shopping in jogja! and solo's not too far away from jogja, so why not?



i hope i can go to one of these places. gtg, shower.

andrew and filza in action

filza : boo!
andrew : hi
filza : loyo amat lo dru
andrew : abis ad yg kegeeran d seblah lo
filza : haha, FIDELAAAAA ADA YANG NGATAIN TUH
fidela : wat??ngatain apaan?SYP??
filza : haha,a ndrew tuh barusan, katanya lo kegeeran
fidela: swt... dasar org yg aneh..
filza : haha dru, dibilang aneh lo haha. dasar bebek andru
andrew: jadi kmaren gw nyuci kolor jula perez abis itu ampe kesurupan
filza : eh jangan sembarang nyuci looo, ada fans nya nanti yang marah loh dru, tuh ada di ruang sebelah lg ngomong.
andrew: si bos serem yaa ntar klo mcm2 disunatlu fi
filza : maksud gue budi dodol. haha.
andrew: budi mahngefansnya ma peter
filza : haha. julia perez matany ZEKSEEEH - mulan jameylah
andrew : lebih sekseee rambutlu ahahahah
filza : yaiyalah gue tau, wignya aja kaga ada. haha.
andrew : haha ok d
* sabar, andrew lg mencari inspirasi keliling*
andrew : hahahahha sorry tadi si jon manggl gw i'll be backkkkk
filza : YAY
andrew: rambutmuseksi itu terbukti dri caramu menyisir rambutmu
yella: geblek sekali anak anak inii...
filza : emang dasar pada ngiri sama rambut gue.



peace out, cims.

hello from school

i'm in this boring IT lesson. and i cant wait to go to business class. i wanna see results

results! results! results!

i was watching keeping up with the kardashians just this morning, and season 2 is getting awesome! robert kardashian is dating adrianne bailon, the cheetah girl. its so cool by how his younger sisters connect with her. and its fun to say "oh my brother is dating a cheetah girl!" haha, okay grow up filza.

i wanna go to vegas! not for party of course, i miss redha like hell. not necessarily stay there for a month, just for a few weeks is fine. and i miss my meadows mall so much. hehe. with him coming home is fine too, at least i get to meet him. but he only has time in december. he gt work on some things, some school things.

heyy, i think i'm in love again, haha. cheap talks. but true, with this "charismatic" person sari said to be. hehe. i'm not in love lah. just... attracted :)

andrew says : and andrew is watching you writing this blog

yea yea, its pretty boring here, i feel like committing suicide any minute now. (yea, like that's gonna happen) kidding!


gtg, some logbook stuff with crazy tima.

nice job for the pain!

i dont know what's prong with people these days. especially the ones i know. they started to crawl onto my body, and let me down in a snap. i just realized that you are a little mean.

tima is a pain in the ass man, i never ever had to write pages of logbook.




gtg, sorrow is waiting.

words for anya

nya, its okay. we're still right where we are now. be patient, honey. the time will come. i know u miss it so much, i do too. u 'll never lose us even tho we're sooo far from you. besides, i'm still next to you right? if u need anything i'll be at school or bintaro, or msn :) i promise there will be the time of the 3 of us, again. maybe now he's a kind of invisible, but he's not dead anya. everything will come right back at you, now u cant have them, later on, its all yours. i love you guys like my brother and sister. recapitulating is fine, just be patient, and dont let it gets into your head too much. that's what people said to me all the time :) be okay, alr?



so much love, filza.

title

sunday afternoon is a good start for a learning session. i'm gonna read laskar pelangi, which i have not finish until now. and last night, i was remembering the times of last year, which anya mention earlier. yea, i do miss those, nya. but as i said : we'll get to that again, i promise. the times we went thru was amaaaaazing. i cant believe we were so insanely "loud". the 3 of us has history, and we just cant wait for the future.

i'm sorry i was being too dramatic, but that's the way it was.


i gtg read lp. my mom will go nuts if she found the book "un-finished" by tonight.

Saturday morning, and the rain aint fallin'.... THANK YOU!

i was suppose to go t join some service team, even tho i was not recieving any command, but i just wanna do it. however, i promised my mom to go to inacraft exh, with her. and so, i wasnt allowed.

hey new layout, tell me what u think.



ciao~

good!

morning guys. today's a holiday for binus, and i'm enjoying every single minute.

yesterday's my friend zack's birthday! he just turn 16 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACK

so i'm going for a quality time with my mom.



gtg take a shower. bye

words

maaf kalo akhir-akhir ini saya pelit banget nulis post. bukan karena saya kurang tertarik lagi untuk nge-post. tapi akhir akhir ini perasaan saya campur aduk. ngga usah ngomong tulis, untuk ngerasain saja udah susah, ngomong apalagi. ya, pulang dr hwa chong memang ada perubahan. dirumah, saya masih ngga tahu mau apa. nonton tv g tertarik lagi, surfing males, paling komunikasi sama teman. chatting atau telfon lah. tp dengan itu saya jd ngga belajar. breaches saya jd numpuk, kerja ngga maksimal. belom lagi tuntutan keluarga untuk nilai dan segala macamnya lah. soo, thx for reading, i really appreciate it.

i feel like a donkey

4.0

so i called my brother this morning, and he was pretty surprised by the score and my memory card is locked! i dunno wat happened, it just happened!

oyea, and this guy i like, he makes me feel, urgghh. i'm not happy.


gtg, mountainous homewokrs.

macaron-ee

watching west side story, it's kinda boring at the beginning.

i have an essay assignment, for BAHASA. oyea, tomorrow, report card's being distributed. my bahasa score is a pain in the ass.

gtg, i'm lazy

HCI

i'm home, baby, i'm home.

so fo the last 7 days, i've spent my time in singapore for an immersion program in hwa chong. it was faaaaaaaaaaaaantastic! i met new friends, i learn new things, do crazy things, experience unusual stuff, etc.

i'm speechless. one by one i'll tell ya the story. i left my heart in hwa chong, haha. but its true ;)

tough luck

masyaallah filzaaaa. ok, so there's something wrong with my ipod, and i cannot see my music in there!! omg some freakin idiotic program made it to my ipod and congratulations for making my day plus my flight a little more BORING. well i have another 2GB MP3, which i cant live with, i mean, i can only listen to 100 songs, which make sense cus i never really listen to more than 100 songs in a single day.


okay, now, i'm fine with it.

gtg, there's some good movie in star world. uhhh, finally.

more drama

yesterday, i had an audition for "the crucible" and i audition for the role Rebecca. She's like, this good girl, and most of the time, the girls audition for Abigail, the evil one. Abby is evil, and for me, i really have to know the character really well (for evils) then i can act it out. but for rebecca, she's a typical southern girl, who wants to have peace. who knows, i might get abigail, but i was not hoping for it tho. However, after my audition, mr.c asks, "It's susanna rite?" and i said "no, rebecca." and i'm afraid, he put me for susanna which i didn't want to be. whoa



gtg jogging. bye

at last

in the past 3 days i feel like i was diagnosed with bipolar, but in fact i'm not. bipolar is wayy tragic. but i'm okay now. i didn't go for a jog with my parents cause i just wanna stay home and do stuff. probably lay back and watch tv.

i'm going to singapore on monday, it's pretty good, i didn't get to shop or anything on the first 5 days, but i will. at least i get out of binus territory. sorry mr.peter

speaking of mr.peter, he just had a birthday yesterday, happy birthday mr. peter. and there's some kind of celebration in every teacher's lounge. everybody's eating cakes, but i dont have the appetite, sorry.

i need some loud music, gotta search on it. seeya

hey guys, i think i have nothing to cheer me up right now.


stress, and cold.






bye.

a day in the life

for binusians, i know this morning i was real sucky. that's because something was getting over my head. i was not pissed on anyone, even tho i'm kinda pissed too. but you guys should know that i wouldn't hate anyone for no reason.

soo back to my daily life, i fail bahasa. i didnt tell my mom, although, i already told her, like, everything. except for my bahasa result. i even fail in my summary grade. i was not expecting a good result in bahasa, that's why.


i'm making my movie, and i'm pretty sad about it. i dont feel like i did my best. maybe because i couldnt think about an inspiring idea. i'm sad because i didn't do my best, i feel embarrassed, i feel stupid. this is something i love, i truly love. it's just been ruined. i just want people to know that i'm not that enthusiastic in movie making anymore. even to do it, i wanna cry sometimes. i didnt have the ability to ignore some criticism regarding something i love. i had a dream to be a trailer maker - a person who creates trailer of a movie. but i dont think i still want it. maybe in my deepest mind i said i would, but i would think again. they say talent shows in a young age, and now, i discovered that i dont have any talent in that particular area. i know my friends would just say "come on, it's just a thought" well, no it isn't.


sorry for wasting your time reading this. it's just that, shit happens in my life, and i cant avoid writing about it.

i love mtv ;]

i'm watching newport harbor.




and it's sooo fun !

i'll post later, bye for now!

good morning bloggers!

isn't the title corny enuf to ruin your sunday morning? i think so, haha.


goofin' around is a great activity to fight my ULTIMATE BOREDOM THIS MORNING.

yes, i am bored and need to go somewhere. my mom n dad are going somewhere, but i cant. i have to finish my homeworks, and yes, there's an s, and that means LOTS.

but look on the bright side, i'm free. however, my dad's kinda asleep now so they're probably wont go for another hour. god, this is slightly stupid.

and my brother's getting something that is more pricey than what i'm gonna have! and he got it quicker! he just said "pa, can i buy this? cus i need one for gps, and internet and bla bla bla yada yada yada.. all my friends here use it and they said it's really good, so can i?" and without thinking he said "okay, just use the credit card" GOD! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD DAD BY THAT STUPID-OVER-UPDATED-UNNECESSARY LITTLE TECHNOLOGY. i mean, my dad offered ME something last 2 weeks, i guess. and he still think about it till today! and he said "i mean not all your friends use itm just wait until more people have it" MAN, TILL WHEN DO I HAVE TO KEEP WAITING FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE IT. i mean you're the one who was offering, daddy. UGH!



santai fi, let your blood circulate.

bebek

ah! i need nasi hainan bebek!


i'm gonna go to get it anyways, be patient filza.




i <3 duck

man, ain't that smokin'!

hey-o-o-o-o! what a day! i can say that coz i just wanna dance like there's no tomorrow.. god, i love that song! paula abdul gave such energy to that song it is beyond fantastic. i mean, what can i say, she's a legend. but if we're talking about the music, randy jackson is the man! he created the song, and some other things in his album. mom, let my buy the cd! it's a wonder! this afternoon i was just watching the oprah show, and the topic was polygamy. even tho it is illegal in the united states, this particular town in arizona has a principle in polygamy for the men. have you ever heard of a man who has over a hundred wives? can u even imagine that? u should watch the episode to believe. and in the earlier episode, this morning, i saw the cast of Across the Universe, and i literally jumped in front of the TV! i just knew that the director of the movie-who is an amazing amazing woman-is the one who brought the lion king on stage! isn't that fantastic?! she creates magic. and jim sturgess was there, OH-MY-GRAVY HE'S ADOOOOORABLE! and when he sang all my loving, his expression is priceless!

my boyfriend

haha, no. he's brian littrell's son, he's super super super cute adorable aaand funny. i would marry him if he's 16. too bad he's only 5.


soo i guess that's it for now. ciao!

5 am

i just woke up, i cant sleep anymore. well, watever.

ok so my medan trip is cancelled, since the tickets are sold out. but i'm quite happy, so then i can have a reason not to go there, hehe.

i have some plans today with my friends, just hangin out, i guess. and for tomorrow, i think i'm going to the movies or somewhere with food. i watched Ballet Shoes, this movie starring emma watson. The plot is pretty good, but the movie is kinda boring. there, emma's character was this orphan who has a passion for acting, and she auditioned for a few plays, and got the best parts. and you guys have to see her stage acting, it was magnificent!

step up 2 is grreat! the finale was innnnnnncredible! the guy is hot too. in this movie he was playing a nice guy, even tho he's popular. But he played the bad guy in you got served, so great time to move on, dude!

i re-watched Across The Universe since i miss the songs. And i have to say, i love it more now than the first time i watch it. i was planning to make a musical inspired by across the universe for the drama club. who knows, mr.c might approve it. i loooove beatles songs. they're awesome! everything's my favorite! oh, god. well except for the mr.kite song, and dr.robert's. hate it.


beatles fever babyyyy!
filza signing off, see ya!

apple pie!

i just bought a frozen apple pie from the grocery store, and it was divine!

well, i have to say that i've been such an eater for the past 4 days. but i run! that's a fact. it doesn't make me lose weight, but at least i dont gain. so yeah, that's the thing. when you exercise, but you eat a lot, its like, lost gain lost gain, so the weight will stay the same. but if you eat a lot but never exercise: that's a problem for you, dear.

hopefully i'm going to medan on thursday. to be honest, i dont really like it there. but i'm going for the sake of my grandma. she's too old now, so i have to be there, at least for a few days. once, i stayed there for 2 weeks! how sick is that?! i got so bored, man.

sooo i think that's it. i need to clean up my room-eh.

--

hello, I'm watching Jay Leno! (wow, that rhymes)

loooooong weekend, huh? 1 more day? not for me. i still have a week!

i listened to a cd just now of a new artist called Afgan. First, he's kinda cute, aaand his songs are wonders. Soo good, not extremely great, but for car-tracks, it fits. His first hit was Terima Kasih Cinta, that caught my attention to actually buy the cd. Biru yang dipopulerkan oleh Vina Panduwinata dinyanyikan lagi oleh Afgan, and it blew me away! For indonesian artist, this is exactly the type of my recommendation!

untuk artis internasional, saya bisa rekomen Jane Monheit bagi pecinta jazz. She's young, and her voice is divine! Banyak duet di album Taking A Chance of Love, termasuk duet I Won't Dance bersama Michael Buble. Trust me, it was on my best playlist.

soooo till next time, CIAO!

when both sex are arguing

hari ini hari pertama saya jalankan term test. The Math was good i should say. bisa saya kerjakan semua kecuali satu, satu yang menganggu pikiran saya hingga sekarang, haha. gara-gara lupa formula, tuh. tapi alhamdulillah bisa hampir semua. walaupun begitu, saya masih agak ragu, karen walaupun saya yakin dengan jawaban itu, saya bisa salah besar. taulah, pikiran anak sekarang suka berbalik-balik. ceileh, anak sekarang!

omong-omong, tadi pulang sekolah saya mampir kerumah yella. niatnya mau k pim, tapi karen yella mau pulang dulu ambil dompet, ya kami ikut juga. lucunya, mobil yella gede, tapi even andrew ga bisa masuk! pak udin-nya yella juga pake ngebantuin lagi. mulailah percakapan antara cims dan retardos. yang ini males ke pim, satu mau makan padang, satu mau delivery aja, satu mau mcd, satu mau izzi pizza, satu nelfon, satu pasang musik, satu baca majalah sambil ngomong, satu mau makan bakmi semua dalam satu mobil yang crowded plus dalam beberapa menit sampai brantem. masyaallah.

akhirnya males pergi.

ga jadi blajar, pada mau nonton. pilih dvdnya aj setengah mati. yang satu mau into the wild, satu mau prey, satu mau blood diamond, satu mau rendition. then it comes to 2 choices, the game plan dan ghost ship. 3 orang game plan, 3 orang ghost ship. tapi kami ber-7. 1 lagi syapa : jonathan. biasa, jon suka no comment kalo kayak gini. tadinya game plan menang, tapi saya ganti suara, jadinya ghost ship, dilalui dengan komplain komplain anak2.

skarang baru sampai, saya solat dulu, bye!

man!

it's been a long long long long long long long long long time since my last post! something wrong with my computer, and so i have to use the old formatted one, and had to start over (internet, the thingies) and bla bla bla yada yada yada.

the term test is coming, i still have the dilemma for MATH! what else?! and bahasa as well sih, but this one i can take care of. math is creepin me out. this particular kind of subject is killing- every-body-softly! and i'm telling you.

i just finished my drama performance a few days ago, it was awesome yet nerve-wrecking. i was so tired man. but it was all good. aaaaaand mr.c loves it!

i'm going to singapore in april for a school trip. it's a small number of students, and we're gonna study-udy-udy our butts off in hwa chong. there's no free time, however, all of us will extend the time untiL sunday so we can hang out in singapore yay. my dad is coming to supervise me and pick me up. since we dont have a crib in singapore and i dont know anyone. and sari will stay with me too ;)

i've decided that i'm gonna take A2 SL. i have a goal in my life that i need to spent most of my school months writing for the school newspaper. but still, i have to keep my grades up, so probably SL.

gtg, i have some studying to do.

flu attacks

let me tell u this : I HATE BEING SICK.

i cant even breathe well! i mean literally, how sick is that?!

i was sleeping in the middle of the bio class, and mr loyd ask me why, but he's cool with that, so right on, mr.loyd!

in the mean time, i'm actually doing my bio hw that i forgot to make. however, there's very little resources about the absence of reflex.

yay, finally i have a new webcam, i've been wanting this for so long. and a new microphone, since the previous one was DEAD.

but the bad thing is i'm so sick, i cant speak well! tomorrow was one of the best days of the week, and i'm gonna have to pass cus tomorrow i gotta stay home! well not yet sih, maybe if i would get better toms i'll go to school.


i have no more idea about this absence of reflex thingy, but i'll find it later. GUDBYE